Selective Thoughts Mean A Better Life?

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control.” -Elizabeth Gilbert Eat, Pray, Love 

I'm a type A personality which means I like control; letting go means the unknown. I hate not knowing what tomorrow will bring. I have a hard time accepting that my mom may never be fine again. Perception plays a huge roll in life and it's always easier said than done. If things were that easy everyone would be happier. Trying to remain in control also tends to include my emotions and I hate letting my sad emotions show. For example, today was an amazing day spent with a friend, but as soon as I got home reality hit and I just wanted to cry until I couldn't cry anymore. When you are alone thoughts tend to take over. I'm tired of controlling my emotions, but cannot just let my thoughts run free. Even now I know most of this probably does not make sense because my mind is so jumbled. 

Another Twist, Another Turn, Another Up and Down

 "Through the twists and turns, ups and downs, in happiness and in sorrow, life teaches us...TO LIVE!"

Once again I struggle to find the right words to express how I feel.  I've seen a little progress with my mom as far as her ability to eat, but there are still really bad days where she can't eat at all. She's off with my little sister, but the night before she left she wasn't feeling well. She went to the doctor and had a virus. To me that's horrible news because I know her body might not be strong enough to fight it off. Unfortunately my mom likes to prove to herself and others that she is fine when we all know the truth. The bad thing is the virus should've been my biggest concern, but like always I was wrong. My mom had blood work done and results came back showing she has Crohn's Disease on top of the SMAS and Nutcracker Syndrome. Thankfully it does help explain why she's still having abdominal pain. The crazy thing is Crohn's Disease usually occurs in people between 15 and 35 years old, but then again...my mom is an exception.