Saturday, October 19, 2013

My Wish

"Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." -John Adams

I've been procrastinating on writing even though some things have been spinning around my head. When trying to decide on a quote tonight I thought about just using "My Wish" lyrics, but they didn't quite fit in and the need for writing tonight actually stemmed from, yes I know, Dancing With The Stars. Corbin dedicated a dance to his sister which is what send my mind in motion. If I could have one wish I'd wish for my mom to be healthy. That's my one wish. I wish to have my healthy mom back and yes, a huge part of that is selfishness speaking. I want back the mom that I could go shopping with, out to eat with, to amusement parks with and not having to plan days around how she's feeling. Please do not get me wrong, it's not about having to help her out, it's about seeing her happy. Wanting my healthy mom back is about seeing her able to eat, walk without pain, and enjoy life. I want her healthy so she doesn't have this pain anymore. I want her healthy so she can enjoy life with my family members. There's also a sense of guilt with moving out in a few weeks. I'm afraid of what might happen without me being around to help her out. I'm afraid she's going to sink into depression. What's worse is my brother and sister in law don't come around much and won't be around much to check on her. 
 
 I'm thankful for my cousin. He and I don't talk very often, but at least he's the closest person to me that knows the fear of losing your mom at a young age. He has at least been there to lend an ear and give me some supportive advice. Love every minute with your loved one. Try not to think about the what ifs. Most importantly, stay positive. I have hope that one day I will have my "healthy mom" back. I have faith that things will work out and be okay and that my mom will not only continue to be a survivor of Superior Mesenteric Artery Syndrome, but she will be a healthy normal survivor. 


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