Tomorrow's Stories

"Today's worries are yesterday's fears and tomorrow's stories"

Every day that I attempt to write I try to find a quote that fit's the mood and topic and I think today's quote fits my mood the best. All of my "yesterday" fears are finally fading. I finally, truly, see the sun shining a little more brightly. Yesterday my mom and I took another trip back to the hospital to see her doctor for a post-op checkup. We were told that it was a successful procedure and he fully believes that my mom will not have any more major problems or pain. So now where do we go from here? Every day is still filled with a little worry. I find myself constantly looking at her, checking on her, and still worrying some. I have seen a huge improvement which has lifted so much stress off my shoulders. My mom not only has her appetite, but does not hesitate to eat. She's trying to eat a lot more, rarely doubles over in pain now, and just overall looks so much better already. At this point I'm just excited to what the next day brings and watching her become stronger and stronger. I can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring. I just look forward to having not just my mom, but my best friend back.

Recovery Can Be a Long Road

Trying to suppress or eradicate symptoms on the physical level can be extremely important, but there's more to healing than that; dealing with psychological, emotional and spiritual issues involved in treating sickness is equally important.
Marianne Williamson

A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders just from having this surgery over and done with, but now we face the challenge of healing. Tuesday was a very very long day which began at 4am, arriving at the hospital at 5:15, surgery starting at 8:20, and lasting 3 hours. The hospital is very crowded so mom was stuck in the recovery room until they could find us a hospital room. Mom didn't have any complaints about her nurse but I did. I got annoyed that he wouldn't even let her speak to my dad and I wasn't allowed to stay back there long, but other people, with different nurses, got to stay longer. Mom had been fighting a migraine and spent the majority of yesterday asleep. This morning she was doing much better, went off the pain medicine, went for a few walks, including one very early one at 4am. Unfortunately this good feeling didn't last long. :/ I left to go back to the hotel to do laundry and grab some food. When I came back mom was feeling bad again. She was cold, but head was hot, her head was hurting again, and then she would get hot and want all the blankets off. I'm praying that tomorrow's test goes well so she can start having liquids to drink. We might get to go "home" by the end of the weekend, otherwise we are looking at Monday or later. I pray that the nurse gets here quick with more headache medicine. Hopefully I'll sleep a little tonight. I'm tired of being tired, but I want to make sure my mom is okay before I even attempt sleep tonight. There will be a lot of changes and adjustments to make in the upcoming months. We may have a new normal. My mom will also have to adjust to the change of looking and perhaps even feeling different. For me, as long as she is happy, healthy, and pain free, that's all that I ask for.

Have Courage When Looking Fear in the Face

 "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'- Eleanor Roosevelt

Every day for the past year has been an experience, a struggle, and a test of strength. Tomorrow is my mom's surgery and everyone is anxious. Once again we are facing the unknown. Every surgery, patient, and outcome are different so we really don't know how my mom will do or feel after this procedure. From what we have read and been told it seems to be a difficult recovery, but that's expected when organs are cut, re-routed, and sewn back together. I've been trying to keep my mom's thoughts positive and sometimes it seems so difficult when other people start sticking their nose where they don't belong. Everyone is nervous and afraid of the unknown. I know we can get through this, I know my mom will be okay and most importantly, I know that this will help her feel a lot better. Saying a prayer for my mom.