For everything in life there is always a beginning and an end

The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

Nelson Mandela, Autobiography

“For everything in life there is always a beginning and an end. This is the tough part the most difficult thing when you see that it’s coming: The end.”
― Seve Ballesteros

 

 

How do you conquer fear? Sometimes fear is just a figment of our imaginations or an event that caused us to become afraid. I remember back when I was a gymnast and had grown the smallest bit, but one day hit my feet on the bars doing a giant. Immediately I was terrified of becoming seriously hurt. My coach knew the only way for me to get over my fear was to make my get back on the bars and learn to bend my legs at my hips so I wouldn't smack my feet again. Despite staying hours later after practice and completing my set amount of giants that fear was still there. I actually threw away the opportunity to achieve my best all around score ever at that time, but at the meet I walked up to the bars, saluted to the judges, and walked off the mat. 10+ years later I can't tell you what it took to overcome that pathetic little fear, but I wish I could remember. Fear is a constant and daily part of my life and I wish I was more like my brother at times with his ability to block things out so they don't bother him.

 

I know I've talked about this a lot, my fear of losing my mom, but it's not just my mom whom I fear losing. I've taken on a sort of responsibility for those with SMAS. I want to protect them, support them, and help in any other way possible. But, we all reach our breaking points, our points when we can no longer hold it together. This is my outlet and maybe my way of working through my fears. In our community there is always hushed talk about who is fading and might be the next one that SMAS defeats. It becomes emotional when it is someone that you have grown close to and things look bleak. I am a difficult person because I never want to see someone fade away so I get kinda bossy and frustrated. In my mind it's almost like "If they just did this they'd get better." Reality isn't always that way though. I'm learning that sometimes people know that the end is coming and I just need to support them the best that I can until that dreadful day arrives.