Confusion, Uncertainty, and Another Hurdle

"Sometimes God has to break us to make us. It's just a bend, it's not the end. We're all like glow sticks, no matter how much we're bent and broken our light still shines." DeAndre Carswell

One of the hardest things for me to talk about, which is why I didn't write about it in the last post, is what my sister went through the night of the crash. She had been living with my grandparents for a year and a half. Immediately after the accident happened, she woke up, but everyone else was still unconscious, there was blood everywhere and she thought everyone else was dead. I can't imagine what that would've been like. My heart still aches for her and as her older sister all I've ever wanted to do is protect her. She doesn't talk about it and I'll never ask. I just hope she knows that I'm always there for her. Thankfully, everyone did recover from the accident and we began to move forward. My mom moved out to Florida, my dad started a great, but very demanding job, and the only thing looming was knowing about my brother's upcoming deployment overseas. Once my mom was settled in Florida she and my grandmother went on a diet and lost a good amount of weight. I was so proud of my mom for losing the weight, looking great, exercising and keeping it off. I felt like things were really starting to improve in our lives, but life knocked us down once again. I received a phone call and learned my grandmother had breast cancer. Without the help and support of a wonderful coworker I'm not sure I would've made it through that tough time. My mom's cousin had died the previous year from cancer and that was still very fresh in everyone's mind. I was considering quitting my job and moving out to Florida to help with everyone and now looking back...I wish I had because more health issues were about to hit our family.

*On a side note, I recently learned my mom started a blog. She is unaware that I know her blog site, but I like it that way. It's a way to see what she's really thinking, feeling, and going through since she dont always open up to me. I know it's a way of protecting me.